Krister Axel

Pack like a ninja
you can live like a ninja
in stealth and comfort

– haiku

copied from a book of mine in the long ago:

if I could paint my heart for you right now
the colors would blind us both

I am in mid-explosion and I can’t help it

afraid to push open the door to this new understanding

Only now do I realize how far I have wandered

what it will take to bring me back



I am glad for you, such a beautiful image

of young and deliberate passion

time has not allowed you much failure

that cleansing fire of regret

your heart is as big as any canyon

even as my feet begin to slip

if I could paint my heart for you

an empty shell is all you would see

Choosing from among these pretty cages

I find strength because you are still so free

I am in mid-explosion and I can’t help it

you are a flower blooming patiently

you were always out of town
i was always on the way
i could barely see the light
but you could blind me just the same
no one ever knew the truth
but you were always on my mind
all i saw was you
i was waiting for a sign
we were lovers then
we were lovers all the time

you could never stay too long
because you always had to work
but i did the best i could
and you showed me what it's worth
i never rushed a thing
i was careful just like you
you took my only heart
and kept me for your fool
we were lover then
even if you made the rules

i could find your heart
in the pitch black dark
when the colors run
and the night has just begun
i will never stray
i won't lose my way
as long as i have you
as long as i have you

we're here with all our friends
this night will never end
now we stare across the sea
now your love is here with me
now we'll never be apart
now I know just who you are
you're the one I'd hoped to find
I was searching all the time
so let's celebrate
let's celebrate tonight

as long as i have you
i will never be afraid
i will never lose my way

as long as i have you

Hollywood is a
bunch of memories now. sigh.
all the billboards suck

I thought to buy you a trinket
to express the warmth in my heart for you.
Some small token that might find a home
next to your bed.
There were toys, lawn-gnomes
and rocking chairs
swaying in the cold April wind.
This life falls short of you
in my fleeting paradise beneath the spotlight
I remain incomplete. There is more
to my dream than was planned
I did not mean to love you
without my kingdom in place
I have no control.
Not over this grey morning
or the way the sun shines
not over my heart
which knows only your name
I found nothing to offer you but myself
and this handful of rain
tears from the Kansas City sky
symbols of a love
eternal

written from the road in Missouri, summer 2006

original title:

'Lavinia, Lavinia, Lavinia, Howsoever Beatest Thine Heart Among the Divinities Shall Ye Be Remembered, Lavinia'